I am often tagged as a feminist, but I am not sure what they exactly mean? People have different perception about feminism, few think it’s unnecessarily fighting for women rights, talking against men, and not having productive work hence wearing the feminism mask.

To me ‘being feminist” is not to demean any gender, but to fight the “TYPICAL THOUGHTS” that stereotype women. It’s a fight against being judged all the time and facing inequality! I mean come on its 2018, women have achieved so much and still we have to constantly prove our worth in personal and professional lives. Sadly the judgements are not only passed by men, but also by 70% women of our society.

I am from a very progressive family and have been fortunate enough to get married to a person, whose family is equally progressive. But, boy!!!!! How many times in life, I was judged by the rest of the society.

I have seen almost every woman face the bitter tsunami of comments, and finally give in to the world’s expectation. In the process, women often lose their individuality & beliefs. I wanted to list out 4 outrageous thoughts which our so-called developed society has for women, and even in 2018 we are unable to run away.

  1. What Is She Wearing??: I remember I was about 13-14 years old and I loved wearing cute little shorts and t-shirts. Few women used to comment on my dressing style and blamed my mother, because she encouraged me to wear whatever I wanted! Like really?? Girls are always judged by their attire; in fact her IQ level is also questioned on the basis of her outfit. If she is wearing a western, modern and trendy outfit then she is just dumb! Dressing style should be a personal choice and not a society prerogative.
  2. The Marriage Accessory Rule: We live in an hypocritical society, and we have many irrational and narrow-minded people. If you are an Indian women, you must have been told thousands of time about the post wedding rules like, wearing sindoor, bindi, mangalsutra, shakha, pola, chura, churi, wedding ring and sari. Married women should always follow the above rules for her husband and his family’s respect & safety. I don’t understand the relationship; I believe these things really don’t matter as far as you are committed to the relationship, and have a good line of KARMA.equality-1245578_1280If we decide not to go by the above norms, then we are judged to a point where our characters are also questioned. Strangely, men don’t need any post wedding tags!
  1. She Is Too Blunt!: Being opinionated come with rewards like “She is blunt”, “She is arrogant”, she is bossy” & “Lady, watch your language”! At the same time, if a guy speaks out his mind then people say, he is going to ‘rule the country one day’. I have been an opinionated person my whole life; and I think speaking up for what you believe in, is a person’s right and no judgement can take that away from us.
  2. The Baby Time Rule: You can never actually skip “The Marriage Accessory rule”, and parallel to that “The Baby Time Rule” will also make a smooth landing in your life. As soon as you get married, the only question everyone starts asking is “when is the good news”? Guess what? “I AM NOT READY YET”, is the answer which women should start giving. It’s a personal choice and every woman has the right to take her decisions. Nobody should interfere, pass expert comments and demoralize women.

We all know that it’s almost impossible to change the mindset of our society, but we can change ourselves. This women’s day onward, let’s not get scared or imprisoned by rules and regulations. Let us brain wave each other, inspire, take our own decisions, break free of the judgements and be free-spirited. LET US BE JUST “US”!

Posted by:Chitrangada Das


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