Many adults who are not yet parents are delusional that parenting is easy. They think that growing up a human being is just feeding them and providing them clothes. Many moms also think that infancy is the most difficult stage. But what nobody tells you is that parenting is a journey as well as a challenge that will always be hard. Remember, the hardest thing in life is also the most rewarding thing in life. After all, no pain no gain.
Yet, I would like to point some of the hardest things about parenting so that you know what you will face and how to handle it on your way. Birthing a child and then letting them grow is a process that involves many emotions and pain is one of them. Most parents have difficulty in drawing the line between pampering and helping. They also face difficulty when some change comes along the way as the child grows; albeit it’s difficult for both the parents and the children.
The only way of getting through the tears is acceptance and hope. Accept that times are hard than covering it up with denial. Accept that sometimes you need external help as well. And, accept that you are the only one who can make any change. Be hopeful that once the tears end, the smile will come too.
Differentiate between the child you wanted and the child you have-
The child is the gift in your life and before conceiving him you saw many dreams of the child. But raising a child that you wanted and raising a child you have are two different things. One child exists and one is the figment of your imagination. You may burden your child with expectations that he simply can’t lift. So go a little easy on your child and let her learn from her own mistakes rather than over burdening your child with your unrealistic expectations and suggestion.
Pampering vs. helping-
No parent likes to see their child suffering. But if they make a mistake, you must let them experience the pain of their actions. If you keep protecting them, they will never learn and be responsible for their actions. The consequences don’t have to be too detrimental, but not being able to play for a week or abstaining pocket money will teach them to take responsibility since childhood and they will learn a lesson for life.
Children are unpredictable. Sometimes they will behave well-mannered and other times they won’t stop yelling and crying. Pinching and yelling back will only make you look as bad parents. But at this stage, stop yourself from imagining other people’s responses and what other people will think when your child cries. Your mind will create scenarios rather than finding ways to help your child. So, stop the train of thought and get to the root cause of your child’s discomfort.
There is sadly no specific rule book to perfect parenting. You will make mistakes and so will your child. The important thing to remember is that you are doing the best you can to raise your child to be kind, courageous as well as successful. Remember your love for your child and you will get through all the tough times like a cake walk.