Arguments, disagreements, and fighting are the part and parcel of every couple’s married life. Whether you have kids or not, the fighting and disagreement are bound to happen. Sometimes, disagreements can get out of hand and can turn into ugly fights. When this happens in front of your children, it will leave a negative impact on them.

Parents know that whatever they are disagreeing on, it’s possible to solve. Parents often resolve the fights by themselves. But the children aren’t a part of this conversation. They witness the parents fighting and the bitterness around it, completely oblivious of the fact that the fights and disagreement can be sorted out by adults.

Here are some ways that parents fight will affect their children.

Effects on kids when parents fight:

Tit for tat- 

When children witness parents fighting, they notice that this is the one method to resolve their issues. Hence, the next time they have a difference in opinion with someone else be it with some relatives, teachers, or friends they will react with aggression that they have witnessed. They will always portray a TIT FOR TAT Attitude in life.

Psychological disorders- 

Parental fighting can cause psychological and emotional distress amongst the children. This can lead to mental disorders such as anxiety, depression, and stress.

Relationship problems in adulthood- 

Parents are the role model for the children. If they grow up seeing their parents fight all the time then their definition of love and relationships becomes the same. They behave with their partners the same way their parents behave with each other. They may even stray away from relationships all together as they fear getting hurt by someone. They might even develop issues in forming a partnership and try to control their partner and the relationship excessively.

Physical problems- 

When parents fight, children feel depressed, anxious, and helpless. As a result, they either overeat or under-eat. This will cause physical ailments such as headaches, stomachaches, nausea, and other digestive problems. At times, mental disorder symptoms are also expressed as physical anomalies.

Low self-esteem- 

The self-esteem of a child suffers when they feel emotionally distressed. They may have problems maintaining and creating a confident front in both the professional and personal front.

Suffering from academics-

If children witness parents fighting, they will constantly think about their parental problems and mull over problems and how to solve them. This will make them lose concentration in the school. They will fall back in their class and behind their fellow classmates. They will have trouble catching up and eventually fail in their classes. 

Parents also often wonder how to not let their problems affect their child. It will help if you and your spouse refrain from shouting and calling each other names in front of your child. Don’t banish your child to their room. Sit them down and ask them what is troubling them. Explain to them that you and your partner may have a difference of opinion but no matter what, your child is both loved and cherished by both his parents. Communication will help them fight their assumptions accumulated in their head.

Posted by:Swati Rai

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