Has it happened to you that you show the picture of “daddy” to the child, and instantly they light up? You ask them whose baby girl are you? And their answer is mommy. This creates a playful albeit a real battle between the parents to be the best parent ever. When a child asks the parents who are their favorite child, they answer all our children are our favorite. But is it the same with children? Children often prefer one parent over the other.
While we console ourselves by thinking it’s just a phase, it could hurt for real. But it shouldn’t be taken personally. Parents should realize that whoever children have the most fun with; they end up saying they are their favorite parent. Certain criteria make a parent favorite in the eyes of a child. And yes, good for you, it does keep fluctuating. If you wish to know what makes a child pick one parent, then you can read on.
Why does a child prefer one parent?
When the child is young, from birth to 3 years old, they prefer the primary caregiver. If they spend more time with their mom, then they will prefer the mom, and if they spend more time with their dad, then they will prefer their dad. After the age of 3, they orient themselves with their gender identity, and they prefer the same gender parent.
If the father helps the child to build cars and play on tracks, whereas the mother urges the child to study and eat their greens, they will prefer their dad, and it’s hardly surprising. The parent that lets them have the most fun, they will identify them more.
When a parent works all day, and finally comes home, they will be the ones who will be special. This is because the parent who is always around will always be there. But the parent that they can spend less time with, they will be more special. The parent who spends less time with the child spends most of it by playing and doing fun activities.
4. Parenting style-
The parent who is fun and easy-going will be preferred over the disciplinarian one. The parent who always gives in and is laid back will be preferred. Understandably, parents can’t always grant the child leeway, and hence divide and conquer. Sometimes the dad can be strict and mom can be laid back and vice versa.
When children are upset, vulnerable, and sick, they will gravitate more towards the primary caregiver. This will bring them safety and reassurance in times that they feel weak and ill.
The parents should know that no parent will forever remain their favorite. Depending on the situation and external factors, this will always change. The change in the title should be taken lightly and the best that they can do is love their child exceptionally. Their love, support, and care will make them into the best human being and this is the primary goal of all parents.
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